I am very frustrated right now with a lot of different things.

• My sister is ridiculous.
• Mike's mother may move back to Idaho (which is both good and bad).
• I dislike my living situation.
• I have to train my new boss.

I can fix one of these four issues. The other three are just going to drive me insane.

I am tired of the cold

My new GM is arriving this weekend. I hear she is young and has a three year old son. I hope things go alright.

Poem

*I didn't write this; but I do like it. Here is where I found it: http://mngamojemo.deviantart.com/art/Grazing-Dinosaurs-For-Shame-21399985

See here. She moves
like something's missing, like in a dream
of things primordial, long-tailed scooted dinosaurs
that skulk around the bushes. Shame.

To wonder why the next who speaks
repeats the thing you said, recieves
the gentle laugh. To think
to chit-chat.
Just be content
that no-one speaks and swinging
tails of horseshoe crabs avoid
your legs.

Out there the whales collide with ships, the kraken
dance. My love whose ears are just like shells,
I hear the ocean pressed against them, knows.
The fairies hate a liar and a thief.

My love whose eyes are alabaster knows.

You've plumped up
like a dumpling, firm and ragged. Look at me
when you speak. You asked if
there were rules to being real.

She moves like in a nightmare of the England
overrun by wolves. So let
the forest have her, if it comes
to that. For shame.

The eight-foot terror-cranes once strode tall
the savanna, snatching
horses. The name
that many races call themselves
is "only people".

My love is this:
someone who lies about all day
in peace, on cushions, whose eyes
are alabaster, whose ears
hear only sea. My love
holds water. My love
can stare and stare as something
makes the noise of ten excited crowds
outside our door.

You are a walker.
Ragged shoes and hobnailed
feet and toes clawed
like a raptor, but arms
as far from graceful, noble wings as steel
is far from cardboard in
the road, and tracked
with mud-soaked
treads.

Tired and with pupils
spread like dull and rusty pans.
She stays awake that time
that could be any day. Why can you not
be like the rest, who chit-chat?

It's just
like talking to a syphilitic.
No taste in clothes.
No sense
of urgency.
(God gave that to a flea!)

The fairies in the corners glare
with all the hate they have for mortal folk.
Milk curdles in your place,
things move and letters from your words go
missing.

Be real and true or things go badly.

Shame.

Mike has a dog; which pretty much means I have a dog. I love the dog. She is sweet and well behaved. She sheds a lot though. There is one thing I absolutely hate and it is animal hair on my clothes and all over everything I own. I vaccuum constantly. I can't wait until it warms up so I can shave her hair off.

I finished the last book in the Twilight series this morning and I am still debating on if I like it or not.

I am trying to find motivation to clean the bedroom.

Grandma

This makes me roll on the floor laughing. I wonder if I can convince my grandma to do this . . .

I found the picture here: http://sean-tron.deviantart.com/gallery/

I found out a few days ago that I did not get the GM position. I honestly thought the job was mine. I have been doing the GM's job for almost three years now, and I am really at a loss knowing that some stranger person is coming in less than two months and taking over my hotel. I am having a very hard time with this. I believe that I deserve the job. I plan on making some phone calls tomorrow and Tuesday to find out just why I didn't get it. They owe me that much right?

Maybe I am being ridiculous.

News

My GM was fired today. We are all still shocked. No one was expecting it. I am no going to be the GM. I have a million things on my mind and million mixed emotions on the topic.

Wish me luck.

Things you may not know

Here are my 20 random things as copied from Ms. Meg:

1. I have always wanted to be a certified barista and work in a coffee shop. There is something about the atmosphere of coffee shops that completely draws me in; and I am not talking Starbucks. I love little off-the-wall shops that are not in the least bit corporate.
2. I am still unsure if I have officially graduated from ISU. I know this sounds completely ridiculous, and it really is, but I don't care so much right now about that. I have a huge problem with my program advisor; and I do not like her very much. I passed all of my classes this semester; I actually got straight A's this semester. I am guessing I have graduated, and I may even waltz down to campus this next week and check.
3. More than anything I want to go to England. It has appealed to me since I was a kid and as long as I go there before I die, I will be happy.
4. I am a workaholic according to just about everyone around me. I am so into my job that I have ulcers from the stress it has caused me. Lovely, right?
5. Saddam Hussein was executed on my 21st birthday. I remember I was at The First National and I was going to the bathroom and I stopped in front of a huge TV and was pointing at it and saying, "This is the best birthday EVER!" I was ridiculously trashed.
6. I am easily addicted to reality television. I avoid reality TV because I am so addicted. I accidentally started watching a marathon of America's Next Top Model way early one morning while doing homework and I called in an hour late to work so I could watch the last episode. I can be extremely lame.
7. I am likely the most insecure and self conscious person you will ever come across. I am care way too much about what other people think, and I never think what I accomplish is good enough.
8. When I was little I used to talk for my sister because we are four years apart. If an adult would ask her a question, I would take it upon myself to answer for her. I still do it now from time to time; this is probably why she is so shy.
9. I want to learn French. If I would have had to take another semester of college I would have signed up for French. I am actually still thinking of doing so.
10. I am absolutely terrified of being stuck in Pocatello for the rest of my life. I hate it here and I am hoping to leave within the next year.
11. I want to own a hotel or bed and breakfast. I love this industry and would love to stay in it.
12. I am too artistic for my own good. I can't paint, sing, draw, or write poems but if I could I would kick ass at it. I love art.
13. I am obsessed with huge coffee table books. I want lots of them one day when I am not sharing a house with messy, party-hungry, boys.
14. After everything is all said and done, all I have ever truly wanted out of life is to be genuinely happy.
15. I want kids one day.
16. I can not shop at the DI. I have the most terrible stigma about going into places like that. My friend Cody used to drag me their often and I would walk around with a disgusted look on my face. He stopped taking me.
17. I remember birthdays. I am the crazy birthday lady. I buy presents and cards and bake cakes. It is a little outlandish sometimes.
18. I am extremely naive when it comes to drugs. I don't understand them and I can't really keep up with all of the nicknames for them and how you take them. Odd.
19. I have panic attacks when I don't have my cell phone. I once dropped mine in the parking lot at the grocery store and realized it when I was about two blocks away. I was almost in tears when I got back and there was a lady about ready to pick it up and I flipped out. It is horrible.
20. I get pulled over a lot; at least four or five times a year. I normally don't get tickets, but it is still a ridiculous process. I actually got pulled over the other day for crossing over the line on the far left hand lane. I couldn't have possibly went over it by more than five inches though because I hadn't hit the rumble strip yet. The officer was a jerk and tailed me for a mile before he decided to pull me over. I was angry.

I was at work last night and the nicest lady checked in. She made my entire night of work worth the effort. She didn't complain about the rate or the pet fee, or the fact that she was in a room on a floor with smoking and non-smoking rooms despite her asthema. She was just happy to be somewhere. I love people like this.

Mood

I am in a really bizarre mood today. I feel like I am loosing grip on life. It is snowing the weirdest snow ever. Huge flakes and rain and it is almost swirling as it comes down. Blah.

Mike got laid off the day after my birthday. Life is going to be hard, yet again, for a while. No one is really hiring in Pocatello right now and I am praying we can make through the next little bit until he can find something. Shit keeps happening to us, and we are both wondering when it will ever stop. We are both gluttons for punishment and seem to attract horrible things. We are amazing together.

We didn't do anything fun or outrageous for New Years. I had to work that morning I didn't sleep the night before; I basically slept all night and woke up in time to see the ball drop on television. I am becoming so lame in my old age.

Hopefully my piece of crap Mustang will make it up the hill after I am done working tonight. This could get really interesting.